I want to punch Caillou in the mouth

Over the last week a transformation has occurred in our household. Our sweet, cooperative, polite little Maggie, our beautiful little caterpillar has undergone a metamorphosis. Out of nowhere she has become a rude, insubordinate, raging hellion. I seriously could not believe my ears tonight (and had much difficulty keeping a straight face). As we were going to the bath she did not want to take, she said, "I'm not talking to you guys. I'm just walking over here. Goodbye. I'm leaving now." That was the cherry on top. All week there have been ridiculous tantrums and crying fits. She has been obsessed with crying - all her imaginary play involves crying. I have been hearing the word "NO!" and the phrase "I don't want to!" in a snotty little voice, and it has been getting progressively worse.

Then tonight I got it. I have been applying the hell out of How to Talk to Kids since the madness started - stretching my patience farther than I ever thought it could go. Turns out there was no need. The solution? NO MORE CAILLOU!

I questioned this conclusion at first. I considered other causes: illness, growth spurt, maybe we finally hit the "terrible twos". So I started Googling and found that Maggie is not the only one to be corrupted by the little turd:

land of aud says, "I cut Caillou off when Jacob was about a year and a half. I was starting to notice that after Jacob watched the show he would become increasingly whiny!"

S.Q. says, "and now my daughter says "NO" all the time and literally acts like caillou and quotes him and actually imitates his squeaky, irritating voice."

TNmommy says, "Calliou has caused lots of problems in our house. My 3 yr daughter had started watching and loving this show. I watched with her the first few espisodes and didn't notice anything wrong, at first. Then my dd started using phrases like " I DON'T WANT TO!" and "NO, not now!" I figured out where she was picking this up at. Calliou is very whiny and disobient."

For those of you unfamiliar with the little effer, allow intothethickofit to explain, "The storyline revolves around 4-year old Caillou who is either whining or speaking in a false baby voice. He’s rarely in trouble with his hopelessly perky and indulgent parents. The narrator finds Caillou ridiculously charming and always chides the audience about our preschool hero’s antics."

Barf.

Young children are impressionable. Right now she mimics everything. She imitates her father and I - the way we sit, the way we eat, the way we talk. If we read a book, suddenly she becomes the main character. Last week we watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium and she became Mahoney (Natalie Portman) for a few days. A little over two weeks ago, Maggie started watching one Caillou episode a day and if you've seen the little punk, you can imagine the behaviour that's appeared as a result.

Hence the new house rule...